Let's try this again.

Hello! It's been a loooong time since I last wrote on this blog, but I think I need an outlet, so let's begin again!

2015 was a wild ride. I left a job that I deeply loved with people that I deeply loved, at an organization that had definitely fallen out of love with me. It was a sad parting, but needed to happen. Then I took another job with a wonderful non-profit, and ultimately, we did not end up being the right fit for each other, and parted amicably after I'd been there four months. In late May I took on my current position, which is unlike anything I've ever done before. It's incredibly challenging and stressful, and I am the first to admit that I feel like I'm quite terrible at it still, though my organization seems to have the utmost faith in my abilities to be successful and seems impressed with me so far, so that is a small comfort. In life, I'm willing to be brave and stick my neck out for anyone who I feel is being treated unjustly, but I'm terrified to do things that I'm not good at. I don't have that insouciant confidence that some people seem to innately possess, so I fret over not being good at things immediately. This current job reminds me every day how much I don't know about my new field, and it's a little terrifying. But living in a place of discomfort is different than a place of unhappiness, which is where I found myself work-wise last year, so think this is a good challenge to undertake. In addition, I love my organization, deeply believe in the work we do, I have the opportunity to travel, and to be operating on a Director level, which I am deeply proud of.

Still, it is sometimes paralyzingly stressful, and the change of job still hasn't jump started me into making healthier life decisions.

I actually came to a realization this last year that I don't actually care that much about what I weigh. I feel pretty and confident in a way that I haven't in a long, long time, and that feels good. But, I know that I'm now closer to 40 than I am to a lot of other things, and I want to be a healthy person. My husband has so many qualities that I love and admire, including his determination and willpower, and he has made incredible health and fitness strides in the last 5 years, to the point that I think he's as handsome as he has ever been, and he regularly gets mistaken as our children's older brother, which will never happen to me (especially because I am obviously not male). I don't think I can ever have his discipline, as I love Diet Coke and dislike exercise too much, but I want, as always, to be the best version of me, and I know that achieving that must ultimately include some healthy changes.

Earlier this fall, I achieved a long-time dream--I became a zumba instructor. I was definitely the largest person in the room, and certainly only somewhere in the middle in terms of dance ability, but at the end of the class, one of the instructors said "I've never seen someone work so hard and look so happy at the same time." That felt really good to hear, because it was true--I was so tired, but so happy! It was a joyous day.

Since then, I've been teaching for some kind and indulgent friends at our church. I know I'm still a terrible instructor, but they keep coming, and I deeply love them for it (Rossi, Heidi and Hilary, you are the highlight of my Wednesday nights)!

I want to be a better instructor, and I want to have more people attend my classes. Dancing is good for our souls, its good for my mind, and (if you care about this sort of thing) is good for your waistline too! Earlier this year, I challenged myself to do 100 days of dancing, and it made a big difference in how I felt about myself. I ultimately didn't finish it, because I never kept my self accountable to anyone. I'm hoping to do it again, and check in via blog each day, to let you know how it's going.

Here are the perameters:
* 100 days of dance begins on Monday January 4th and ends Wednesday, April 13th.
* I am committing to dancing for 30 minutes each day for the next 100 days.
* Any kind of dancing, in any location is acceptable.
* I will log into the blog each day and post about the day.
* Comments, encouragement and invites to go dancing are greatly appreciated!

So that's it--I'm hoping this challenge can help me reconnect with myself, improve my dancing ability, be a fun way to groove through a Minnesota winter instead of slogging through it, help me make fun plans with fun people, and maybe even put a little more positivity and happiness into the world!

I hope you'll join me on this journey! If you have any songs that you LOVE to dance to, let me know!

I feel better when I'm dancing,
Nina